To Touch Poison Read online

  The bathroom door opened and he turned to face her, the woman he’d carried in his heart for the past year, six months of it falling in love, and six months of it in separation. Light haloed her, streaking her dark brown hair with gold. “Maybe you should color your hair, change your appearance.” He ran his hand over his face, the two-day beard beginning to itch. “Make it more difficult to spot you. It helps that you have me tagging along ’cause they’ll expect you to be alone.”

  Kaimi rubbed her lips together, a sure sign she was going to disagree with him. “Yes. You’re right.”

  Huh? Had he lost his touch reading tells? “You agree?”

  “I do. You have to go back to work, and I have to disappear into the jungle long enough to get myself killed.” She held her arm up, twisting it this way and that. “I shouldn’t have soaked the cast off. My perfectly normal wrist will be more proof that the formula has healing properties.”

  Anger shot through him. “You don’t seriously plan to go back there? And I didn’t hear anything about me going with you in that plan.”

  “Later. We can be together after this part is done. There’s no other way. I’ll only be at the campsite for a few minutes, just long enough to prep a backpack, tell Fion I’m heading into the jungle for more of the plants Eamon destroyed, and leave a message with her to pass on to Fred.” Her voice caught on Eamon’s name.

  So he’d read the tell correctly. Jayme’s fists clenched into tight knots. He could not lose his temper. Not when Kaimi was still so vulnerable. Words erupted from deep in his gut. “You think I’m going to let you go back into that situation alone?”

  Kaimi tilted her head, giving him a sideways glance. “Yelling loud enough to shake the walls isn’t going to settle this, Jayme. I need you to go back to Langley. Someone has to confront my former CIA boss and find out what I need to do to get out of military Spec Ops and back on his roster. We, make that I, don’t have a clue how to find a body to substitute for Xola Muerte, and I’m certainly not going to murder some innocent woman and leave her in the jungle to rot, hoping someone will find her and think it’s me. I have to do this. I’m the only one who can leave the trail leading to my demise.”

  Determination put steel in her words, and his stomach hollowed out. She was right. With other countries involved, and the truth completely shrouded in politics, Muerte’s death had to be as authentic as possible. “How are you going to kill Xola?”

  Kaimi sank into the nearest chair. “I know that area of the jungle better than anyone other than the indigenous people. Before I hike in, I’ll make a big deal about being despondent because of Eamon’s assault. Fion will track me because she desperately wants to know where the purple-leafed plants are growing. I’ll lose her, hide out for a day, and then circle around and leave traces of the mixture the natives use for euthanasia where she’ll be sure to find it. When she can’t find the plants, she’ll think I’ve given up on creating the antidote, put that information together with my emotional inability to recuperate from Eamon’s attack, and assume I offed myself.”

  His brain hit overload with the details of Kaimi’s plan, and he barely held his anger in check. “You’ve left out a rather big issue. They’ll search for your body.” What was she thinking, to put herself in danger? And to face his bastard of a brother alone? No way in hell.

  “Um-hmm. I’m counting on it. I think I can talk one of the tribes into helping me create a burial site. They cremate their dead.” She brought her hands up like she was holding a ball. “I’ll just need a pile of ashes, and some kind of marker, something personal but not obvious.”

  Jayme crossed his arms, biceps bulging. “I forbid it.”

  Kaimi blinked. “You what?”

  “I can’t let you do this. Eamon will—”

  “Be recuperating from a head injury, or maybe won’t be there at all. Drinking the formula had some effect on his multiple sclerosis. Those muscle spasms were severe enough to make him scream in pain, not that he didn’t deserve it, but Fion heard him yelling. She mentioned airlifting both of us out of the camp, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Eamon’s already in a hospital here. Oh, God. Maybe Unimed. Maybe we were there at the same time.” She hugged herself.

  If Kaimi was right, he should find Eamon and…no, much as he wanted to beat the crap out of his brother, doing it in a hospital would just get him locked in a Brazilian jail. Not a good move.

  Kaimi was talking. Damn, he’d probably missed something important.

  “…fake ID so I can travel, and some money. I’ll need them to get out of the country after I’ve seen to my death and burial. Hey, you’re a Scot. How did Eamon end up working for G2?”

  Her arms were loose at her sides, but the change in posture wasn’t enough proof she’d be able to face Eamon. “Same way I ended up at the CIA. Moved here and worked to get my citizenship. Eamon has always been rebellious, and in his youth longed to be part of the IRA, so it was fulfilling a dream for him, I’d guess.” He touched her cheek, felt her skin damp against his fingertips. Damn it all. Silent tears. “The thought of him being in Manaus scared you, made you sick. I could see it in your face. How can you possibly think you’ll be able to face him with only Fion Connor to run interference?” He hated to hit her with reality, but he had to stop this crazy plan before it was too late.

  Her glare flashed, a bright blue flame.

  “This is the only way I’ll get my life back, and I will not allow anyone to steal it from me. Not Eamon, not the government, and not you, Jayme Grady. I can do this. Let me rephrase that. I have no choice but to do this. My future, our future, depends on it.” Her face softened, and she blinked the glare away. “Think about what we just vowed to each other. You promised to support me, and I offered you my love and my life. We have different paths to follow if we’re going to get through this and come out together on the other side.”

  He groaned and ran his hands through his hair. “How about we both…? No, there’s no one else to lay the groundwork for your return to Langley, and that piece is essential if we’re going to pull this off.” He fought the need to protect Kaimi, won the battle, but the internal war was still going strong. “I’m not good with this. It’s a shitty plan, but I can’t think of an alternative. And damn it all, but I trust you.”

  She grinned. Every muscle in his body went weak.

  And then she shot across the room, jumped into his arms, and knocked both of them onto the bed with a bounce.

  KAIMI BURIED HER FACE IN Jayme’s neck and inhaled. The scent of citrus shampoo tickled her nose, and she threaded her fingers in his hair. She’d always loved the weight of it, the sensuous way it curled around and then slipped through her fingers.

  “Kaimi.” His tone savored each syllable. He tucked her into his arms and held on tight.

  Her breath caught. In spite of the assault, the wild and crazy plan to get their life back, and her insistence on working with a formula that could mean their death, this man loved her. Accepted her. Trusted her.

  She arched against him, meeting the intense green of his eyes. Not cold and hard like Eamon’s. Jayme’s were lighter, softer, and filled with love.

  He dipped his head, kissed the tip of her nose. “It’s killing me not to rediscover every freckle on your body, to watch your skin warm and blush under my touch, but the night is almost over and we have—”

  Talking wasn’t what Kaimi had in mind. Her hands slipped under his t-shirt and found the heat of his skin. She wanted to hide, to avoid the elephant between them, but if she didn’t face it now, when courage swelled in her chest… “You’re everything I need. Touching you, having your hands on me will wipe away every ugly memory Eamon left behind. Your love is more powerful than the magic in the formula I’ve discovered, Jayme Grady.” She ran the tip of her tongue over his lips. “Heal me,” she whispered.

  JAYME’S HEART POUNDED, AND THE blood rushed to his groin. His muscles shook with need, but this wasn’t the time or place for anything but slow and gen
tle. Heal her? Dear God, her trust came close to unmanning him. And wouldn’t that be hell to explain? He brushed his thumb over her cheek, her silky skin, the strength in the arch of her bone. He shivered. “You’re so beautiful. Don’t let me hurt you.”

  Kaimi’s palms pressed against his abdomen and trembled. Or was he the one shaking like a damn teenager? Slow and easy. Let her be in control. “Take my shirt off, honey?” A question, not a demand. A suggestion. Yeah, that was good. He could suggest his way through this, one fucking touch at a time.

  Her eyes fluttered closed. And then she bunched the fabric of his shirt in her fists and skimmed it over his head. When she inhaled a shaky breath, it went through him, piercing his heart with need.

  But it wasn’t until her lips touched his chest that sweat broke out with prickly bursts of fire under his skin. His woman blew a trail of cooling breath from throat to navel. He swallowed, shuddered. How the hell was he going to keep from losing it?

  He rolled to his back, bringing her with him. “Slow and easy,” he muttered, a reminder to himself, and then he stilled. “No condoms.”

  Kaimi’s eyes sparkled in the glow from the bedside light. “No. I want us to make a baby, Jayme. Your child. Our child. The timing is right for me. I know we’re not in a good place to add a new life to the mix, but there’s a chance, a very slim chance, that—”

  He pressed his fingers against her lips. “I understand. And yes, if there’s a child I want it to be mine, ours. No questions and no regrets.” This decision would affect the rest of their lives, especially if there was a child. Should have scared him shitless, but instead a deep sense of how right it was settled in his chest. His woman. His child.

  Kaimi kissed his fingers, then ran her tongue around them, sucking.

  Heat shot to his groin. “Slow and easy.” It’d kill him, but it would be a good death.

  “Maybe later.” Her t-shirt landed on the floor next to the bed. “It’s been six months, Jayme. You make me wait and I’ll have to take things in hand.”

  FEAR FLASHED IN JAYME’S EYES, and for the second time his body shuddered under her touch. He was afraid for her, of hurting her, rushing her. Love swelled until her heart simply didn’t fit in her chest. It pounded for release, but realization slowed her movements. She’d have to be careful with him. This wasn’t just about her healing, it was about their healing.

  She slipped her underwear off, and kicked her legs free. The handful of white cotton was starkly visible against the navy blanket. The dark and the light. Her life before and after. Oh, yes, she was so very ready to create a haven to share with her life mate and their child. There was no doubt in her touch when she trailed her fingers down his chest, caught the waistband of his boxers, and tossed them on the floor. He wouldn’t be needing them anytime soon.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THEY SLEPT IN, ORDERED ROOM service, and fed each other breakfast in bed while they discussed logistics for finding each other after their tasks were completed in Washington. Kaimi swallowed a mouthful of fresh-squeezed orange juice. It was sweeter than she’d expected, and she licked her lips, soaking up the last of the flavor. “I’ve been thinking about this, and I have a plan.”

  Jayme groaned, holding a slice of toast to her lips. “Your plans, honey, tend to give me the mother of all headaches.”

  She pushed his hand away, and glanced at the clock. “No more. Too full. And we need to—”

  “How do you want to play it?” He bit off a bite of the toast.

  Kaimi tilted her head, considering her words. Jayme wasn’t going to like any of it, but there was no other way unless they stayed together, and there was a high probability that choice would get both of them killed. She stifled a sigh. “It shouldn’t take more than a week for me to execute my part of the plan, but dealing with agency higher-ups could eat your time like a black hole. And since we won’t be able to communicate by phone, mail, or email…”

  He dropped the rest of the toast on his plate, stood, and carried the tray to the desk. “I’ve been thinking, too. I get that it would be more dangerous for you if we both go into the jungle, but—”

  “We talked about this, Jayme. The tribes know me, maybe not intimately, but by sight, and they’ve heard of me, seen me working with the plants. I’m a known entity, but if we both show up they could panic at the intrusion. And Fion is going to tail me. She’s trained, and good at tracking. I didn’t pick up on her presence when she followed me on my first day in camp, and I was watching for her.”

  He scrubbed his hand over his nape. “Yeah. I get it, but I don’t have to like it. What’s the rest of your plan?”

  It was a good plan. She looked into his eyes, waiting, hoping to see some of the worry dissolve. “I’ll give you a map and directions to the clearing where I’m planning to burn my body. If you aren’t able to contact Fred or my old CIA boss to set up an extraction, I’ll make my way back here for a commercial flight. If all else fails, they shouldn’t have any trouble finding me using their heat sensing devices. When I get to Washington, I’ll set up a cache. Remember that loose screw in the molding outside my old apartment door?”

  She waited for him to nod. “I’ll cache everything you need to find me behind that strip of wood. You know you’ll be followed by trained officers, and probably military special forces as well. They won’t think it’s odd for you to be searching for me, so it should be easy for you to retrieve the information.”

  A vehement shake of Jayme’s head stopped her. “I’ll have already gone to CIA officials with our case. No matter what their response, they’ll have their own plan, and it may not be feasible that I’d still be looking for you. My trip here has probably triggered all kinds of red flags.”

  She rubbed at the sudden knot in her stomach. “You’re right. What room were you supposed to be in? Why haven’t they knocked on my door?”

  “Think about the people we work with, Kaimi. They’re rarely that direct, especially if they’re gathering intel. They probably want to see where we go. What we do. Above all, they’ll want to know exactly where you are in your research with the formula.”

  “Yeah. Okay, I see that. And since they don’t know, they probably haven’t put me on anyone’s kill roster, although Fred is a total unknown.” She snorted. “But I’ll be able to spot anyone who follows me onto a jitney. Even if they’ve recruited a local, there’s a certain aura surrounding operatives. You know that. The longer we worked for the CIA, the easier they were to spot.”

  “I don’t like it.” His words were tight with resignation, and her heart ached with the need to reassure him.

  She gave him her most soothing smile, and held out her hand. “Come sit with me.”

  He did, then wrapped her in his arms. She nuzzled into his chest. “This will work, Jayme. It has to. Once you have my location, you can set up a meeting place and leave me a message under the molding. We shouldn’t use the same place more than once, twice if there’s no other choice.”

  He nodded, rubbing his chin against the top of her head. “Let’s shower and…”

  She stopped his words with her fingertips. “Time to touch, not talk.”

  The shower was warm, wet, and inviting, the sex slow and easy to please Jayme, and then with laughter and fun to please her. These were the images, the memories she’d carry into the jungle, and she depended on them to nurture her on every level.

  DRESSED AND READY TO CHECK out of the hotel, Kaimi shouldered her duffle, then grinned at Jayme. “I’m going to settle the bill, stop at a pharmacy for an Ace bandage, or whatever they call them here, and grab a jitney upriver. If I wrap my wrist, there’s less chance Fion will be suspicious.”

  He’d just hung up the phone, and waved a piece of paper at her. “Caught a flight for DC. Leaves in an hour so I have to hustle.”

  She rested her hands on his shoulders, rubbed at the tension. “I love you, Jayme.”

  His gaze softened. “Love you, too. See you on the flip side, honey.”

&n
bsp; CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  KAIMI USED REGULAR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, making several transfers on the local bus system before she reached a place in the city where there was jitney service. It bordered on a favela, not the best place for a woman alone, even at high noon, but at least her brown hair and skin tone blended with the local population. She whispered thanks to the gods and goddesses for her Hawaiian heritage, then boarded the jitney.

  She scanned the occupants, chose a seat near the front in case she needed to make a quick exit, and then studied everyone who got on board to ensure no one tailed her. Third stop down she spotted him. Scruffy, worn clothes, even his flip-flops fit with typical local dress, but not his eyes. Icy blue, with danger lurking in the depths of his gaze. He headed for the back of the jitney without pausing to look at her. Her camouflage clothes stood out. A local would have shied away from her, given her a hate-filled stare, or a warm smile. Deliberate avoidance was a dead giveaway. Someone had bugged her belongings.

  Change of plans. She couldn’t rent a boat for the trip upriver until she’d lost him. It’d be interesting to know who he worked for and why he’d followed her. She suspected Fred, but no matter who sent him, her priority was to lose him.

  The jitney had moved well past the favela border, so she’d be able to blend into the city streets without violating the boundaries of a local gang. Someplace busy. Populated. But she needed to switch out her clothing, so a department store topped her list of to-dos. And she had to ditch her duffle and everything in it. To have found her, someone had to be tracking her. Fion working with an accomplice? Nah. She probably wouldn’t leave camp, and definitely didn’t trust anyone. It had to be someone Fred sent to check up on her. Did that mean they could tell which of the heat signatures at camp belonged to whom? A coil of nausea erupted in her stomach. Damn. Had they watched Eamon attack her?